How to Be a Rock Solid Leader: Conquering Fear

by Wayne Sharer

International speaker, author, and entrepreneur. Retired navy officer, former commanding officer. Over 35 years of leading, coaching, mentoring, and speaking.

August 14, 2014

Imagine the day in building your business where fear is no longer a factor. Can you see this day in your mind’s eye?

Would you agree that fear is a major roadblock for many, and that fear is very powerful?

Conquering fear is something so many people talk about, and think about. When put in the proper perspective, it is something that can also be done.

However, conquering fear is not about fear elimination. So the one thing all of us must accept is that we cannot eliminate fear. If fear elimination is the goal before you do anything, then you will do nothing.

I think you want to be the person who does something, and not nothing. Am I correct?

Knowing What Conquering Fear Means

How can you conquer fear if you can’t eliminate it?

There is only one answer to this that I have found to be true. The answer is in this story…

Throughout my life my greatest fear was failure. Many people say this, but it isn’t really true. They have other fears stopping them long before failure is the primary concern.

I know this from the thousands of people I have mentored or lead over the past 35 years.

But for me failure is the sincerely the source of my main fear.

My father was very strict about us kids doing well in school. He set limits that were probably excessive for us as kids.

In my school days, we used an A, B, C, D, E grading system. “A” was the top. My dad expected only “A”s from me. A grade of “B” was not acceptable. A grade of “C” was a failure, and would be rewarded with a spanking and a long-term punishment.

Some of you liberals will call this mean and abusive. Good for you, but it’s not. My dad expected me to do better in life than him, and he understood well just how important getting good grades really is.

This became the basis of my drive for success. My dad made me feel fear when I did not achieve his standard by delivering real consequences. Failing at anything was not acceptable.

The sad part was, a young kid growing up doesn’t always know how to handle this demand for success and the intense fear of failure it creates. For me, it created an intense level of anxiety. A level that most claim to have but do not.

Few Experience this Level of Anxiety

“Anxiety: an abnormal and overwhelming sense of apprehension and fear often marked by physiological signs (as sweating, tension, and increased pulse), by doubt concerning the reality and nature of the threat, and by self-doubt about one’s capacity to cope with it”

Anxiety is normal, but anxiety that controls your every thought, and every decision is not. It is debilitating. For most, it prevents realizing your goals.

My level of anxiety is so intense, it causes diarrhea for me regularly. It forces me to concisely battle it in every step ahead I take. It literally creates a world where meeting new people requires intense conscious action from me.

But I never let it stop me, because the fear of failure is even more powerful, and I am not going to fail.

I didn’t understand this for years. In fact, it was the source of my long depression that nearly killed me.

I had a doctor who told me that he could not understand how I did so amazingly well in the Navy and became a highly successful commanding officer with the levels of anxiety I harbored inside. So you see, my understanding of my anxiety is not something I created myself.

Part of my ultimate collapse into deep depression was a lake of understanding what this fine doctor finally uncovered for me.

By uncovering this gripping problem, I could understand my life much more completely, and conquer my fear of failure.

Throughout my life, I always found ways to “power” through my anxieties. For example, every flight I went on in the Navy generated a huge fear of failure.

I had to start planning my missions 2 hours before others typically did. The main reason was, that during my planning for a flight I was leading, I would spend a lot of time in the bathroom (if you get my drift). I had to compensate for this time.

Another example is, people typically notice that I will volunteer to ask questions or participate in things in front of large gatherings. What they don’t realize is I had to plan this before I arrived at the event.

I must concisely go over and over in my mind how I will raise my hand and volunteer. I set it is as a mark of failure if I do not.   If I do not go through this conscious process, I will not raise my hand and volunteer for anything at an event because I actually fear being in front crowds. I fear failure more, so I must have consciously made not doing it a point of failure.

Of course I don’t know what I will be volunteering for prior to the event. That isn’t the point. I just tell myself repeatedly that I will volunteer or raise my hand to get called out for anything that comes up.

Facing Your Fears

conquering fear

Are You Facing Your Fears?

Facing your fears is the only way to conquer your fears. You see above how it is extremely deliberate planning for me to do so.

If you have a fear in your path blocking you, then you must first know what the real fear is.   Then you must find a plan to deal with it.

You cannot ignore your fears. If you do ignore them, they will beat you endlessly and relentlessly.

True leaders know what they fear and do not try to eliminate these fears. Leaders instead know how to create paths to success through or around their greatest fears. Without knowing your fears, your fears will win because you cannot find a path through or around something you don’t know exists.

What Can You Do to Improve Your Success Against Fear

The best thing I know to do to conquer your fear is to always have a mentor and be working on your personal development. Personal development never stops. It should always be guided by others with differing insights than your own.

I have mentors all the time and my personal development mentors are Jim Lukes and Jim Britt. I highly recommend you check out there program now. It is personal development based on facing the truths in your life and not about mysticism.

If you’re a person that realizes that the law of attraction is not just sitting around thinking about something and expecting it to happen, then you should be looking at what Lukes and Britt offer. They will let you use mysticism to run your life.

Their insights and guidance is the best. For more of what Jim Lukes and Jim Britt can do for you, Click here Now…

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